Confessions of a Wino

Is 2004 Bordeaux ready to drink yet? In 2010, Max Wine Gallery right in the centre of the home of wine, was serving 2004 first growths to those (including me) prepared to pay €15 for a tiny 25ml taster sample. Even back then it tasted just great.

2004 was not the most notable of years, hijacked as it was after the millennial 2000 and just before the vintage of a lifetime, 2005. At least that kept the critics quiet until the vintage of an aeon, 2009, ripped up the price books and had mouths foaming like Englishmen (and possibly Chinamen) out in the midday sun.

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According to Haircut 100 in the 1980’s, my favourite shirt was “on the bed”, but it didn’t encourage me to do a somersault on my head.

Another musical/clothing misnomer came from Scottish warbler, Paolo Nutini who extolled the virtues of new shoes.  I think most readers will agree that old shoes are infinitely superior.  Only Oliver Sweeney makes mens’ shoes that fit quickly but they are bloody expensive.  Most Northampton based shoemakers require a 3 month run in period and an oil change.  Other brands simply expire within that period.

So we are left with our old favourites.  Comfortable and reassuring.  Loyal friends, whose passing we mourn like a childhood pet.

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After numerous weeks of seemingly endless rain, I was close to completing my ark.  However, still no closer to cutting the lawn which was starting to look like a very green field with very long grass on it.  Then one evening we had a breakthrough.  The sun shone and I went outside looking for pairs of worms, slugs, blackbirds, snails and magpies to take with me on my maiden voyage.  They all seemed to be absent, so in desperation I mowed the lawns.

Now, my front lawn is on an angle of about 45 degrees, so I have to mow it wearing golf spikes, but with a petrol mower, this is the gardening equivalent of climbing the north face of Everest in a t-shirt and a thong.

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