Can o’ wine fails to shine

What a great sporting weekend.  The English winning at cricket (handsomely defeating India), and promptly, but not all that convincingly, despatching the USA at rugby in the World Cup.  Even the hapless Steve McClaren had his moment in the sun sending the Israeli football team packing having thrice, without reply, rubbed their noses in the excrement of their sloppy defence.

But the résultat du jour was on Friday.  The French were humbled by Argentina in the opening game of the Rugby Union World Cup – a triumph of gritty Malbec over refined claret?  So in my own personal campaign to cheer up the old wine nation I nipped down to a British supermarket (Tesco) and bought some French produce – a can o’ wine to be precise.

Can of red wine…and some seedling hostas for some reason

Now, any wine which does not mention the region, the grape, the year or the maker raises suspicion.  And let us not even get onto the controversy over new packaging methods, PET, screw caps and now….cans!  Sure enough on opening, this wine smelt of rubber bands and cherry lips.  The taste left lots to be desired too, treading a thin line between turpentine and rocket fuel.  I could feel the enamel of my teeth being eroded gradually, and the finish (which was far too long for comfort) left me reaching for the San Pellegrino flavoured mouthwash.

Described on the can as “soft & fruity” I can only assume they were referring to wind-blown plums that had been softened by lying in the grass for several days being eaten by worms.  However, I would definitely recommend this wine for the removal of stubborn grease from engineering components.

£1.25 for a 25ml can equates to a £3.75 bottle of wine, and I still feel ripped off even at that price.  Much better to invest just 3 pence more on a bottle of Malbec from Asda and keep it open for three days.

So a short term triumph turned to ultimate disaster.  Talking of which, do you think les bleus would like Steve McClaren to manage their side?  Step aside Raymond Domenech and let Steve in!  Then we can hand over fully to Terry Venables, or admit that we need, once again, to inveigle another foreigner to take the role.

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