So, you can find all about this Franco-Argie mix just by Googling it, or by visiting Jamie Goode’s excellent Wine Anorak.

If you want a handful of words about whether to invest your hard earned readies (at >£50 per bottle, you may well want to ponder for a moment before you ring Barclays for a banker’s draft), read on.

I got mine from The Sunday Times Wine Club who, a couple of years ago had an incredible “20% off anything” offer. This wine was already priced to go, which meant a half case bargain for me.

I can’t find out exactly what I paid because annoyingly, and like most online wine merchants, Direct Wines deletes the records of wines that go out of stock. Once it’s sold eh? Who gives a monkey’s cuss about the buyer who might want to research their purchase from 2009? I think I paid about £35.

Mainly Malbec and Cabernet Sauvignon, this has the 14% ABV spice and richness of Shah Jahan, but with the yielding mellow fruitiness of Mumtaz Mahal. Don’t waste your time drinking it with a Ruby Murray, though, stick to beef. It is a rare wine that can bridge the intense flavours of ribeye steak (medium), right through to the mild, but sublime and subtle textured fillet (cooked blue). Cheval des Andes is that wine.

And while I’m being all Lordy, don’t drink it without food – well, not a full bottle and not for a few years yet – oh, and beware of the dregs. I nearly gagged. Worth decanting.

Is it worth £50, though? Oh yes….

The menu is as basic as it gets for a steakhouse. I mean, so basic that regulars of Goodman and Hawksmoor would walk straight out. Of more concern, however, is the wine list. Four wines from the ‘steak friendly’ section (for there were only four) were barely named, let alone afforded the courtesy of their year of birth.

I suppose it might have made a difference if my throat hadn’t been scorched by inflamed rocket fuel masquerading as a Bloody Mary. A short Hallelujah moment when wine two: ‘Catena Malbec’ arrived as the genuine article. Sadly not the Zapata or Alta, but real Catena,, from the year of our Lord 2009. At £32, well marked up for a wine you can often find for less than a tenner retail, but as reliable as ever once given 10 minutes in an ice bucket with the sole purpose of bringing the temperature down from ‘skillet’ to ‘chopping board’.

A freshly fallen shroud of virgin snow generally comes with more seasoning than a Black & Blue T-bone. The ‘mixed’ salad was much better dressed. In fact so much so that snow would have been no more likely to penetrate the thick winter coat of grated cheddar and walnuts than a rocket-propelled Bloody Mary of mass destruction. Underneath its robes, the salad actually wore Janet Reger underwear in the form of the zingy salad dressing which was the only sign of a bit of bully in a steep bear market cycle.

The Occupy Wall Street protests are targeting the wrong corporates. Banks are teddy bears compared to steak massacring chainsaws like this. We deserve better and I am going to camp outside my local Lehman’s branch until Goodman gives me my own table.

Perhaps I am harsh. Looking over a fabulous Black & Blue terrace, laughing faces sheltering from the autumn clouds, under parasols warmed by planet threatening electric heaters, that all the same look comforting and cuddly, everyone outside was having a ball. None of them were eating. If I should ever start smoking again, Black and Blue will be my first port of call for an al fresco tipple. If I am after food, I think I’ll stick to Hawksmoor, Goodman and Redhook, and hell yeah, wine prices aside, even Gaucho Grills.

Black & Blue
37 Berners Street
London
W1T 3NB
T: +44 7436 0451
W: Www.blackandbluerestaurants.com

(Visited November 2011)

The service, on the night we visited with a Groupon voucher in hand (£18 for two 3 course meals), was being delivered exclusively by Olena, whose English is okay, wine knowledge less so.

The Chilean Merlot I selected was out of stock.   Rejecting the suggested alternative of Jacob’s Creek (aka liquefied jam WKD), I managed to find a safe bottle of Casillero del Diablo Cabernet Sauvignon, a brand which regular readers will know is my recommended defensive weapon of choice when navigating a mass market dominated wine list.   At £18.95 this wine is fairly rather then well priced.  A bit more imagination would be nice though.  In Manchester it should be possible to put a good list of £15-30 wines together.  The Mark Addy does this in Spades, for example.

The food menu contains plenty of Russian staples.  I was expecting cabbage and potatoes to feature prominently.  The Duke of Stroganoff apparently inspired the choices of half a dozen soups, a similar number of blinis, and a dozen mains ranging from beef steak through flattened chicken breast to minced lamb, all served with your choice of mash, chips or rice.

My blini was plain, but Fred’s Derevenskiy - chicken, mushroom and noodles was sublime.  Imagine a Chinese soup but make the flavours more subtle and the texture slightly thicker and it just makes you keep spooning.

We swapped experiences for main course.  The chicken breast was tougher than the estimable curtains hanging next to our table, but my lamb Barantchiky with rice was like a top class seekh kebab, but softer, less spice, more thickly ground and served with a spicy sauce that was so good it’s recipe is currently being guarded by US Navy SEALs, and, presumably due to the resulting potential supply chain problems, it is served in tiny portions.

The Russian cake was the pick of desserts.

I think the kitchen is generally on top of stuff and on occasions inspired.  You cannot complain about the cost either.  Even at full price our entire bill would have been about £60 plus service.

There is also a large range of vodkas, if that is your thing.   Personally I am starting to love those that are served frozen.

See what you make of it.  St. Petersburg offers something a bit different and if you take vodka rather than wine with your meal you will probably love it.   Either way, you cannot fail to walk out with a smile driven by the warm welcome, the quirky ambience and Olena’s enthusiasm.

St. Petersburg
68 Sackville Street
Manchester
M1 3NJ
T:  +44 (0) 161 236 6333
W:  www.russiancuisine.co.uk

I dug out a few old bottles from the bottom of the rack recently and this appeared, purchased from Majestic a couple of years ago.  I feared the worst.  But still opened it, obviously!

I should have trusted Catena (the reliable makers) and Bibendum (the reliable importers) and, in no small part Majestic (the now evergreen but reliable retailer), who despite their various mark-ups only billed me £7.99 for this excellent wine.

Full of smooth zingy fruit, it is still quite ‘in your face’ like a New Zealand Pinot Noir, but somehow with a surprising amount of refinement.  I treated myself to a bottle at about 15 degrees with beans, bacon, mustard and watercress on toast (I know what you are thinking…..phwaaaarp).  YUM!

For example, I have always shown affection for scantily clad beach babes from Chilean conglomerate, Concha y Toro, and especially their sub-brand Casillero del Diablo.  OK, it is not fine wine, but this cost me £6.99 from Sainsbury (available from many sources including Tesco and, I haven’t bothered to check, but presumably Morrisons and Asda too, and maybe Somerfields and Co-op).  How is such a ubiquitous and cheap wine so tasty?

Put aside your preconceptions about mass produced wine.  CyT keep demonstrating that large quantities of grapes can be turned into very drinkable slosh.

The Carmenère is always a bit of a bonfire night wine.  Autumn fruits and the smell of real wood fires.  Make sure you stick it in the fridge for 30-40 minutes before drinking to maximise the flavour (see WART).

Sorry Paul, but the first taste was everything I don’t like about overcooked new world wines.  More forward than the Irish scrum.  Metallic tannins.  Darker and fruitier than Graham Norton’s jacksie.  Not one to drink on its own then.

But being consigned to the flat for the night, I had decided on one of my regular gourmet dishes of beans on toast.  The match was perfect.  I would strongly advise you to go for Branston baked beans, if you are an adult.  Also, the discerning beans on fan always selects brown/granary bread toasted slightly on the burnt side of well done.  Regarding the wine, I could refer you to the Wine At Right Temperature campaign, or you could read the back of the bottle which recommends serving at 16-18ºC.  I wish more wine makers would put a recommended drinking temperature on the label.  It would help my battle with restaurateurs who serve Chianti from the top of the pizza oven, and Gavi from the depths of the Blast Chiller.  “You want an ice bucket sir?  You DO realise it’s a red wine, sir?”  Erm, yes, I am well aware of what I ordered, thanks.  I just don’t like drinking it at 10º warmer than recommended.

So what of Dante’s inferno?  If you chill it down to the right temp and eat with something rich like baked beans, I think you will love it.  It is imported by Whittaker Wines of Macclesfield (doesn’t appear to have a website).  I haven’t checked the price and can’t quickly find another supplier, but if it’s in the <£10 bracket it would be good value.  If you live near Macc, you are fine of course.

Most of the menu was USDA Angus beef on the day I visited.  Makes the mouth water, but dries the wallet.  In removing the pounds from your purse, however, it secretly gives them all back firmly (or probably not so) to your paunch.

I chose half a kilo of meat – a bone-in dry aged sirloin, @ £31.25 plus sides, water and wine.  The full bill was £95.34 including service (12.5%) and VAT (20%) for one course and one bottle, not even a coffee – quite a thump for a singleton.  But I would still argue it was good value if you can afford to sever an arm once in a while.

The meat was juicy yet jiggly, firm yet yielding, ripe yet mature, pinky yet perky.  Like an experienced stripper’s tits, only more tasty (or so I’ve heard).

One of the cheapest wines, Catena Malbec 2008 at £38 is a markup of about 230% against Waitrose’s retail price of £11.39.  Typical for Mars and London but if anyone in Manchester or Leeds tried to get away with it, they would get a sharp rap on the testicles.  However, nowhere near the eye-watering Gaucho Grill markups.

The usual #WART argument ensued as I asked for an ice bucket.  The waitress very politely told me that people complain if they serve reds any cooler than room temp (which felt like about 25 degrees to me), and therein lies the problem.  How can restaurants ignore their customers, even when they are ill informed?  “In Argentina they normally serve this at 16, so I’d like it a little cooler please,” I bluffed.  The closest I’ve been to Argentina was seeing Evita about 20 years ago.  Anyway, I got my way without distress and the wine was ok too, but didn’t go with the steak.  Maybe something a little softer next time.

The overall verdict vs. Hawksmoor?  Well, on Goodman’s downside, by the end of the meal, I wished I had ordered English mustard, rather than French, and the Malbec’s bitterness clashed with the juicy tender sirloin.  However, they were my choices.  What was really dire was the bland 1950′s big band crooners music.  I thought I was stuck in a Brief Encounter on Bank station.

I didn’t even notice the music at Hawksmoor, maybe there wasn’t any, or maybe it was agreeable and discreet, unlike the service uniforms.

But these are small complaints.  Both places are equally excellent on food.  If Hawksmoor waiters dressed up, and if Goodman’s music dressed down I would be happy if I dined and died at either place, when my time has come (if only my bank manager or inheritance tax planner would allow)…

Goodman, City
11 Old Jewry St
London
EC2R 8DU

T: 0207 600 8220
W:  www.goodmanrestaurants.com

Imagine a bowl of fresh cherries and vanilla ice cream.  Not as dark and devious as many Malbecs but tasty and good with or without food.  Seems like incredible value at  £7.99 (less a mysterious discount of x%*) which probably means you are paying little more than a fiver.

* x = 1/y+3σ (no I can’t work out Naked prices either).

This came from Naked Wines at a pretty expensive £9.49.  But, then again, there is such a super-complex array of discounts that the real price could be anywhere between £3.50 and £750.

The wine is typical Mabec and tastes of dark chocolate and cherry liqueur (probably Thornton’s) and has a velvety texture.  Very nice and possibly even worth a tenner.  A bit lighter than most Malbecs and a refreshing 13.5% ABV.

I recommend drinking young (as it is plastic corked), trying to avoid the “face” price,  and following WART advice to drink at circa 16°C.  Snap some up quick though.  Before you know it, Gaucho Grills will be serving this at £56 per bottle.

However, my steak was so mouth-wateringly, drool dribblingly, bib wettingly luscious, that Truly Scrumptious couldn’t have tempted me away from it, even if she had offered to blow my Toot Sweet in the back of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.  I had to come back for another try.

So, attired in my scruffiest jeans, muddy trainers, knee-pads and plastic helmet, I felt sure I would fit in this time.  Arriving at the door I presented myself to the Maitresse d’Hôte. “Sorry darlin’ I’m just a customer heading for the loo” was the reply.  When the real Tony Hawk turned up, my table was not ready, even though I had only booked it half an hour ago and turned up less than 5 minutes late.  So I sat at the bar and enjoyed a Bloody Mary, surprisingly but enticingly spicily and tastily dressed with a fresh halved cherry tomato.

Truly, my complaints matter little, because the food is better than a Jack the Ripper mystery and that’s why, on a lonely, dark, October Monday night, it’s so hard to get a reservation.

Potted smoked mackerel was not only reminiscent of the smell of glorious Grimsby docks, it tasted of neatly trimmed, well, you know, and there is no finer compliment. The cheapest starter on the menu, at £5.50, it is about the price of a cover charge at a Caprice Holdings venue and, therefore, possibly one of the finest bargains in all of London cuisine.

The steak is not cheap but it is good value and sensibly, is sourced from the North of England, away from the smog.  No pea-soupers in Yorkshire.  I added steamed spinach and triple cooked fries hoping that they would cancel each other out in my hopeless diet.  One of the finest steaks I have ever eaten.  I don’t suppose Yorkshire folk would fork out the readies for this quality and, therefore, are more than ‘appy to export their best meat to London.

The most surprising happening of my evening was the wine intercourse.  A Chilean Carmenère was equal to the best I have tasted.  At £35, again a decent spend, but as my good Scouse mate Tony says, only budgies go cheep, and once again I plead guilty to calling for value over capital outlay.

Unlike my last visit where the wine was served at “skillet”, this time it was pulled out of a sophisticated wine fridge at “ambient”.  I remarked how impressed I was that they even possessed a Combine Harvester, only to be rewarded with a “would you prefer it cooler, sir?”  I requested 10 minutes in an ice bucket which received an understanding nod.  Full marks from my #WART campaign!  Not many restaurants in The British Isles get the importance of wine temperature.

I was further impressed when I asked for the Digestif list.  So many restos can only offer blank looks, but Hawksmoor offers 5 pages of Bacchanalian funbags.

Although I finally elected to decline, I would have chosen an 8yo Bas-Armagnac.  Possibly the cheapest, erm I mean best value after dinner drink from a quite expensive list.

My bill (for one) was within a couple of kickflips of £90, including service, which few of you will consider cheap, or even good value (trust me on this one, it is better value than Gaucho Grills and the wine markups are well on the shy side of Gaucho’s ‘outrageous’).

But you should find an excuse to come here at least once.  There is a branch opening opposite Pineapple Studios in Covent Garden, which for many will be easier to get to than Ripper territory.  You will spend the next month in delectable duodenal delight as your constitution digests the saignant 900 gram Porterhouse, or medium-rare 1.3kg Bone-in Prime Rib.  It’s the foodie’s equivalent of a First Growth tasting.

How would I make Hawksmoor better? Here I get unpopular again. Surely the only improvement would be giving the punters a chance to more readily recognise the waiting staff. At this price and quality, it would be nice to see butcher’s aprons, Hawksmoor branded polo shirts, or at least matching knee pads.

Hawksmoor Spitalfields
157 Commercial Street
London E1 6BJ
T: 020 7247 7392
W:  www.thehawksmoor.co.uk