Having sold only 20,000 apps at £1.49 each, probably amounting to around a month’s wages in his heyday, I challenged Andy that he had not yet even covered the development costs. He replied that the dev costs were “actually not that high” and reported the venture as profitable.  Fair enough, worth a try then.

In fact, the application is a basic front end linked to an API to www.wine-searcher.com. This is software lingo for “it uses someone else’s database”.  In this case a well-established, but US centric, search engine that is not supported well enough (by retailers). Not yet anyway.

The concept is brilliant.  Simply turn up at Gordon Ramsay’s latest 3 Michelin star dining emporium and ask for the wine list.  Browse the pages, discreetly poke a few characters into the app under your napkin, and then confront the Sommelier: “Aha, how can you justify charging £134 for this Andre Perret Condrieu Chery 2007 when I can buy it retail in Tiddlypong, Iowa for a mere $30?”

And that is the problem.  The success of this app depends on the success of wine-searcher.com and, in the UK so far, it simply needs more data.

Perspective though.  For £1.49, it is a no-brainer to download. If you ever eat out. If you ever buy non-supermarket wine from retail outlets (including online), you could get your money back many times over with just one success. I put wonga back in my wallet by buying a bottle of 2004 Ygay Gran Reserva (Wine Search average price, £43) for less than £30 from Costco. Reassurance that I am not being fleeced, and the Rioja was delish.

Personally, I abhor huge markups on wine and have long campaigned against such on this blog. I used to write down a few prices from a restaurant wine list that looked suspicious and check prices against sites like wine-searcher when I got home. At least I can do this in vivo now.

If this app merely pricks the conscience of restaurants that overcharge (and I will single out GAUCHO GRILLS, the Ryanair of restaurants, yet again), then my £1.49 will have been very well spent.

Wine Search via the App Store.

For legal reasons I will repeat the App Store health warning: “Infrequent/Mild Alcohol, Tobacco, Drug Use or References to these”. No shit – Really??? I’m off to write iSpliff and iBinge – let’s see what Apple makes of those.

Disclosure, Andy Hayler owes me £1.49 for writing this review (I reckon). Writing is not as well paid as software is it….

By contrast, the interior of the Blue Bicycle is very Bohemian with ultramarine water glasses, Van Gogh sunflower coloured walls, and Lautrec painted mirrors. A little reminiscent of the label of a Hahn Estates Cycles Gladiator wine, and no doubt inspired by the same genre of painting.

The menu is quite interesting but the specials board blew me away. A starter of scallops, sat yawningly and predictably on black pudding, was much less boring than it sounds. Tomato chutney and sweet glazed onions brought the LS Lowry out of a pudding noir that, although the restaurant claimed was from Yorkshire, was of a quality that is rarely found outside Bury Market, Lancs.

Food is always nicer when eaten with proper instruments and what better than solid silver forks and bone handled knives. The wine glasses were unremarkable but the wine list was Gaucho Grill in reverse. My Ropiteau Chablis, at £29 outbid the cheapest wine I can remember seeing at Gaucho, Leeds where we ate the night before. Grapefruit, dark sugar, dry and flinty it went great with scallops and stone bass, which as it happened was my choice of main.

To cut to the chase, the only disappointments were dry falafel with my bass, and soggy crackling with Fred’s pork belly. Otherwise the whole meal, including wine was faultless.

However, the sting is in the tail. The prices are pretty steep for Yorkshire, in terms of food. Expect to pay £10 for a starter, twenty for main, and £7.50 for a dessert. The wine list is such good value that it makes up for the difference so your overall bill will be 50% of a capital experience. Nonetheless, I decided to pay the £100 bill (inc service for two) and decamp elsewhere for a coffee and Armagnac,

When in York, do as the Lancastrians do and pilfer, rape, and pillage the bicycles. Especially the blue ones. Then cycle over to this funky, fab foodie place for some fine scram, but bring your credit card….and a pair of boxing gloves.

The Blue Bicycle
34 Fossgate, York
YO1 9TA.
T:  +44 (0) 1904 673990
W:  www.thebluebicycle.com

Themed, so far as I can tell, on 1970′s food, and indeed atmosphere, it is a welcome blast from the past, with a sole exception – the wine glasses.  They could do with updating from ‘old fashioned pub’ to ‘trendy bistro’, Riedel in other words.

The service is also a bit 1970′s.  A little over friendly in a Uriah Heep meets Mr Bean sort of way.  Our waiter wanted to share our experience a bit too much.  “So how are you guys, have you been up to anything nice today, what have you been doing?” got a sharp retort from Fred, “actually could we please have a drink?”  I was pretty parched too after 15 dry minutes at our table.

But the childhood souvenirs kept flowing like the piped music (1980′s pop, in an ironic twist).

Mackerel pâté reminded me of why I love that fish, and rue it’s virtual disappearance as a menu staple.  Freshly fished mackerel served in a Clovelly hotel is one of the most memorable of my childhood dining experiences.

McHenry Hohnen Shiraz, 2008 is priced from the 1970′s at £22 19s 0d, or £22.95 as we now know it.  Tanner’s have it at £9.95 retail so a mere 130% markup (full marks).  Damson fruity but quite heavy.  Fortunately, Mr Heep didn’t bat an eyelid when I asked him to take the temperature down a bit.  In fairness it wasn’t served from the wine oven in the first place – < 20°C, I reckon.  So, full marks from the WART campaign.

Lamb Henry was rosemary and mint super-tasty but was surpassed by the best mixed veg portion I have possibly ever eaten.  Perfectly cooked cauliflower, sugar snaps, carrots, broccoli seasoned with a little freshly ground love.

Meanwhile Uriah served a fresh glass of wine to his “buddy” at the next table, and two sticky toffee puddings to his “folks” just along the way.

He brought me, by way of a self inflicted experiment, a glass of Lakeland Liqueur.  A local brew of whisky, caramel and butterscotch served to “mates” only.  Very tasty but would have been even nicer as a digestif if slightly more potent than 20% ABV.  It superbly complemented the After Eight Mints, though, a confection that I’ve not seen since a memorable incident in a Buxton curry house in 1992, the only incident of that weekend that mercifully involved no sheep.

The dessert menu (all made in house) could have been conceived by Keith Floyd in his sober period (April 75 to May 75).  Apple Strudel, Black Forest Sunday, Sherry Crème Brulée, and best of all, an Assiete of Lucy’s Desserts.  As the menu says “keep Cumbria curvy!”  Be it ever so ‘umble how can you not fall in love with a place like this?

Lucy’s Restaurant & Bar
Ash Street
Bowness-on-Windermere
LA23 3EB
T:  01539 442793

In addition to watching the game, in true New York style, every opportunity is offered to lighten your wallet. Here is the full shopping list:

• Tickets $180
• Programme $10
• 2 Baseball caps $30
• 2 T-shirts $50
• 2 beers $22
• Hamburger $7.50
• Chicken tenders $11
• Fries $8
• Subway fares $4.50
• Watching the Tampa Bay Rays get wallpapered – priceless

That’s a whopping $323 for a 2 person visit.  So far this season, the Yankees are 50-22 for their home games, impressive record by any standard.  However, I am going to do the math for you – that is $11,628 per fan on average and we are not even into the post season playoffs yet.  With the Bronx Bombers looking good for a shot at the World Series, and the average New York family income at $53,000 before tax, it’s a good job you can get a Yankees Bank Loan via the Bank of America sponsorship deal!

PS – I am especially astonished by the $11 (£7) beer, I used to think $7 was expensive.  Although, at the ripe old age of 45, I liked being asked for ID.

PPS – Having moaned a bucketful at the prices, I really enjoyed the game and could easily get addicted to baseball.  Shame the TV coverage is so poor in the UK.

In classic gastro style it is a country pub atmosphere and decor, with cheffy food and a fine wine list.  All the waiters wear butchers’ aprons and ties.  The menu is full of frilly culinary bonmots.  This is the brasserie – I wouldn’t bother paying extra for the restaurant which is a sniffier, more morgueish affair, better suited to divorcing couples who have no need of the convivial bar hubbub.

We took Steve and Rita who, as it happens, have just got married.  They loved the Angel and promised to reply with a foursome (or was it fourball?) at a Warwickshire competitor.

Steve’s oysters were Colchester Rocks and looked good, even though no R in the month.  I started with Goosenargh duck terrine – awesome.  Served with a cured ham wrapped fig injected with ricotta.  An unusual amuse-bouche that for once added value.

The pick of our (numerous) selections from the wine list was Henri Boillet Chassagne Montrachet 2007, £44.20.  The mark up policy is closer to fixed price per bottle than percentage uplift which makes many of the wines extraordinarily good value.  For example, if you wanted to try a bottle of this in the smoke, say at Le Caprice, you would have to fork out a ton!  Yorkshire diners are getting value alreeeet.  Guess there are not so many bankers up here (well, only the Government employed Bradford & Bingley staff and I hear their bowler hats have all been confiscated).

After 25 years of faithful service, Riedel glasses are being retired to Sound of Music country in favour of new imposters – the name of which I did not recognise and forgot to note.  The glasses were just as sexy and, let’s be honest, for mere northerners like me, the look of the glass is much more important than whether it is the correct shape for the wine.

Peach and honey flavours were made more complex by a wave of salty seaweed, a wisp of smoky oak and a clump of earthy beetroot.  It is this sort of complexity that makes a good Burgundy worth so much more than a cheap California Chardonnay.

The main course of Lobster Thermidor from the specials blackboard lived up to cheesy, mustardy expectations.  You have to admire a pub equidistant from East and West Coasts that has the ability to buy and serve excellent shellfish.  Then again, I once ate gorgeous scallops in Courchevel, and that is hundreds of miles from a sea (although the prices justify this fact).

The service was also excellent up to a point.  That point was when we tried to order dessert which eventually came, but without the wine list, and the “contemporaneous” coffees never arrived at all.  The waiter picked up on our mutterings, “our service fizzled out a bit towards the end didn’t it?”  A genuine apology supported by a couple of free glasses of dessert wine and I refuse to let it put me off a place that I know is excellent time and again.

As good as food gets, and as good (and good value) as a wine list gets, and 3/4 as good as service gets – for one night only.  Highly recommended.

The Angel Inn, Hetton, Near Skipton, North Yorkshire, BD23 6LT
T: 01756 730263
E: info@angelhetton.co.uk
W: www.angelhetton.co.uk

I was going to review this place next year when I could have titled the post, 4030 2010.  But on the 40th floor bar of 30 St Mary’s Axe the view could not wait and, verily, it must be one of the most stunning in the whole of London.

On one side, the city and a view down the Thames to parliament.  On the other, Canary Wharf and in the distance the leaning tower of Pisa, Sydney Opera House, and the Hanging Gardens of Babylon on a clear day.

We could also see some extreme sportsmen on the wrong side of the sun-proof, bomb-roof, rain-proof, credit-crunch-proof glass. Apparently the windows are cleaned once a year and today was the day that polishing and wiping was executed by adrenaline junkies whose only umbilical cord between life and a grand canyon scale drop to death was a slender abseiling rope tied to a big pair of cojones.

This iconic building is so exclusive we had to call in a few favours to get a table.  We also had to donate a kidney to afford the bill.

I love eating with posh people.  It is the only circumstance in which it is worth earwigging.  The Hooray Henries (and Henriettas) were bemoaning the fact that ordinary Muggles could now get into Tower 42′s restaurant so it was simply not exclusive enough these days.  “Is 4030 the only remaining place where my accent will not be mocked?”  I wonder if they realised that a northern oik, and an intruder from the world of the non-magically gifted, was at the very next table.

My starter was tartar of mackerel, fennel, smoked jalapeño jelly and crisp sandwich.  An intense peppery spicy, fishy sensation but in reality, the size of a sprat.  I suppose such food should probably be served in these quantities to avoid heartburn and to keep my diet (ha!) intact.

Rump of lamb, yellow beans, tomato tapenade and salted lemon arrived for main course looking more substantial.  The salted lemon was as appropriate as running a gauntlet screeching down a blackboard while an actor relays your favourite Shakespearian sonnet, but the rest of the dish was perfectly put together and the new potatoes (two distinct varieties of Jersey Royals I think) were quite astonishing, like no other potatoes I have ever eaten, and on their own justified the enormous bill.

An interesting and not stupidly priced wine list threw up a Nicolas Potel 2004 Savigny les Beaune Vielles Vignes “Les Charmeuses” - £55.  Bibendum have this at £18.12 per bottle making the mark-up on the London average 200%.  To be honest I expected it to be more expensive – it’s a good job the Gaucho Grill did not get this franchise!  2004 was a mixed Burgundian year in quality terms according to most commentators.  Personally I have found most samples pretty good, albeit priced higher than new world comparators.

The wine was heavenly for a Pinot lover like me - stewed prunes, apricot and black tea with classic barnyard or is it seaweed aromas?  Complex and rewarding but slightly unusual.  Is this the wine equivalent of an expensive fruit tea?  Best of all it was SERVED AT THE RIGHT TEMPERATURE!

The cheese course (£3 supplement) continued the excellence and contributed another photo opportunity.

The macchiato was served with an erect nipple even though it was 30 degrees Celsius the other side of the window.  Not Italian style but nice with a Château de Laubade Armagnac (unusually, served in a whisky tumbler).

The final destination (aka the bill) was worth more than either of my kidneys (although had processed almost as much alcohol) at £213 including service.  It rankled a little that the meal starts with the waiter bringing over 2 bottles of water (still and sparking) already opened in expectation of you accepting both, at £3.95 each.  If you have the balls to ask for tap water fair enough, but, as it happens, I felt that an £8 cover charge was a small amount to pay for a stunning one-off experience…the highest non-helicopter fine dining in London.

The base price before alcohol is two courses for £39.50 and £47.50 for three.  That’s a lot for lunch but it is not every day you can eat superb food, look down on the Nat West Tower, with its restaurant full of commoners, and imagine you are a rich banker (or was that rhyming slang?)

40 | 30, St Mary’s Axe, The City of London. EC3A 8EP – Nuff said!
T: +44 20 7071 5009
W: www.4030.co.uk

The Hotel Russell probably counts early risers 99% of its clientele.  It’s easier to get a table at The Ivy than a breakfast table here.  Dinner, however, was predictably quiet.  A few lonely foreign travellers and one table of two couples from Yorkshire who were asking for more gravy – gravy shortages are punishable by death north of Watford Gap.

My goat’s cheese starter could have done with some gravy to liven it up rather than the bland balsamic dressing coating the wilting rocket leaves.

I chose a bottle of Chilean Merlot from a bland and slightly overpriced wine list. It was served straight from the wine oven but fortunately an ice bucket was no problem. I didn’t even get a strange look. Veramonte 2007 Reserva Merlot from the Casablanca Valley tasted like a golf ball made of rubber bands wrapped round a glacé cherry with possibly a little fig added.  Quite pleasant but worth £21.95?  I found the 2007 at Drinks Direct for £7.29 which makes the mark-up 200% – in fairness, probably about normal for London.  It was listed on the wine list as a 2004, though, which probably indicates how long it has been since the list was refreshed!

I was asked three times if I was ok to eat ‘pink’ lambs liver but still they didn’t believe me. I am guessing the northern guys had the same dish and I almost asked for more brown stuff myself to wash away the detritus stuck to the roof of my mouth.

Risking cheese again for dessert, I ordered the assiete which turned out to be a very impressive plank of oak supporting mostly interesting cheeses with biscuits straight from a 1970s Jacob’s family selection.  This was the star course with super fresh crisp celery, grapes and a lovely ‘smashed’ apple chutney.

In summary – bland atmosphere, bland wine list and bland hotel food although very friendly staff.  However, despite my whinging I pretty much ate it all.

The Russell, designed by Charles Fitzroy Doll in the late 1900s, is a grand old dame of a hotel that has only recently received the courtesy of a little refurbishment.  But old and new don’t always work.  Air conditioning plant sits uncomfortably amongst marble pillars.  Parking is only available for one horse and cart.  Single rooms are not even available at most modern hotels.  But modern hotels don’t have the same charm, the same sense of history.  I can just imagine Queen Victoria sitting in this very seat……demanding more gravy for her lamb’s liver.

Fitzroy Dolls, Hotel Russell, 1-8 Russell Square, London.
WC1B 5BE
T:  +44 (0)20 7837  6470
W:  www.principal-hayley.com/hotelrussell

This is one of the staples of the Gaucho Grill wine list, but when average wine markups in the UK are between 100 and 200% (i.e. double to three times the wholesale price) how come Gaucho thinks it can charge £37.50, a 341% uplift, and that is against the RETAIL price.  Is this a new British and Commonwealth record?

Another fine mess is demonstrated by Susana Balbo Malbec, regularly on sale at the Wine Society at £11.95 per bottle but by the time Gaucho has added their enormous 330% mark up, the poor steak lover has to fork out 5,150 hard earned pennies.

I don’t know how they got away with it in the good economy.  Surely this is about as sustainable as rain forest firewood in the current financial climate?

The steaks are awesome (and possibly chargrilled over rain forest firewood) but steer clear of the wine…..or stick to the house brew which, whilst over-priced, won’t leave quite the same bad taste in your mouth.

Of course, the Gaucho is entitled to charge whatever it likes for its wines, but there are many other steakhouses that are producing similar quality meals (take Blackhouse Grills for example) and I am always tempted to spend much more on a bottle of wine if I feel I am getting value for money.

So come on Gaucho, how about cutting us poor starving beefeaters some slack and selling wine even a northerner can afford?

Although the wine is outrageously priced, I do pop in occasionally for a top class steak.  And so last week saw me in the Manchester restaurant.  I thought it would be interesting to revisit the wine prices.

In my post of March 2007, I benchmarked a bottle of Susana Balbo Malbec (excellent stuff) at an eye watering mark-up of 250%.  The bottle, available at the time from the Wine Society at £11.95, was marked up to £42.

Time to check out the latest prices.  I checked the Wine Society website and, fair play, it is in stock and still £11.95.  Inflation rate = 0%.

When I checked out the Gaucho Grill wine list, the price has inflated by a Graf Zeppelinistic 22.6% to £51.50.  This now makes the mark-up (against retail price, and one assumes that Gaucho can buy much cheaper) a groin kicking 331%.  By far the highest I have ever seen in any restaurant.

The matured meat may be superb, but I would rather cut my pupils out with a serrated steak knife, than pay these prices.

By all means eat at the Gaucho, but when it comes to wine, just say “NO”.

I showed up at Brasserie Blanc in Manchester only to discover that Monsieur Blanc has not visited the place in two years.  The brasserie looked unloved and was almost completely empty.  Would this be a culinary delight, or should Raymond come and close his own restaurant?

Maybe it’s the credit crunch but Chaophraya, the Thai place across the street was packed and if you can’t fill a resto on a Friday night then it ain’t gonna last for long.

Blanc has been around for a while though, and I don’t know why more people weren’t there to enjoy decent, reasonably priced food and wine, in a well designed and laid out room.

I am not a big fan of chain restaurants – usually celeb chef designed dishes cooked by YTS trainees with no care or interest in food.  Brasserie Blanc had a sort of authenticity though.  I could have been in France, except the menu was in English and the waiter was Scottish.

He served up escargots bourguignons and moules frites in response to an Eric Cantona style, and almost poetic Gallic mist that suddenly came over me when we ordered.  Both dishes were excellent.  The snails were tender soft, squidgy.  The mussels (from Loch Fyne) in a rich creamy sauce and equally squidgilicious.  What wine could bridge these two?

I spotted a Muscadet, a bit 1970s I know, but at £19.50 it looked good value.  Domaine des Dorices Muscadet Tiré sure Lie – Everywine has it for £9.65 making the markup good value at a smidgen over 100%.  As expected, made from Melon de Bourgogne grapes, but the expected melon flavours were overpowered by pear drops, rose petals, orange and pineapple.  Crisp and dry, there was a reminiscence of cold tea in the flavour.  Great match for seafood I reckon.

Le fromage is sourced from the excellent Premier Cheese.  Three french cheeses, and one local (Lancashire) in a northern sized portion.  The pick for me was a salty spicy blue Fourme d’Ambert which was a loving partner for the sweet wine.  From Minervois and with essence of papaya, mango and passion fruit, it was thick, syrupy and sexually attractive to cheese.

Service is excellent, polished and professional, and all tips go to the staff.  The bill, including aperitifs, wine, desserts, digestif (Armagnac of course, at only £3.50) and service was £92.40.  For that price you can afford to take the train from London and including taxi fares, a newspaper, in-train refreshments, and an umbrella to protect you from the incessant Manchester rain, you would still have change from a bill at any London brasserie.

Brasserie Blanc, 55 King Street (Off Chapel Walks), Manchester, M2 4LQ.
T: 0161 832 1000 F: 0161 832 1001
E: manchester@brasserieblanc.com
W: www.brasserieblanc.com